Product Information
Bed Snakes Beware!!!!

How the 'Bed Snake' Bat was developed

At last, years of relentless research by our team of dedicated scientists has borne fruit. We have discovered that pregnancy is caused by a small venomous snake, (Snakus Williuserectus) or Bed Snake.

The Bed Snake is found throughout the world and it's favoured habitat is the bedroom. For much of the time it remains dormant, but don't let this wrinkled reptile deceive you. On being approached it will be roused into action, and its fearsome venom has few known antidotes.

Caution: never suck out venom if attacked.

Now, utilizing cutting edge technology, we have created the remarkable contraceptive device, the Bed Snake Bat.

Please follow the instructions carefully, and never again need you fear attack from a Bed Snake.

Instructions for Use:

Be armed at all times. On sighting Bed Snake, give it a forearm smash with the Bed Snake Bat, followed by two or three more for luck. If in any doubt at all, perhaps one more again?

WARNING:
THE MANUFACTURERS OF THE BED SNAKE BAT TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR INJURIES INCURRED BY USERS OF THE BAT, TO OWNERS OF THE SNAKES, NOR TO THE SNAKES THEMSELVES.

A record of Use will be included with the Bed Snake Bat.

A quote from Dr. Randy Clutz " I guarantee, after purchasing the Bed Snake Bat, no more pregnancies and a full night's sleep."

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Price: £2.99

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